🚀Growth Catalyst #1 - Experiential Avoidance
Overcoming the inevitable discomfort between where we are and where we want to be
Welcome to RC and the first Growth Catalyst! I feel privileged to join you on your growth journey, look forward to your feedback, and hope to meet you soon in an RC session or intro call!
Experiential avoidance - the unwillingness to remain in contact with averse experiences such as painful feelings, thoughts, and emotions in an attempt to evade distress and discomfort.
Experiential avoidance can hinder development and growth by preventing us from confronting and learning from challenging experiences. Many of the things we desire require that we pass through difficult emotions, feelings, and sensations: physical fitness involves the discomfort inherent in exercise, deep relationships require confronting difficult truths about ourselves and our friends, family and partners, and finding deep purpose or love means trying a lot of things and confronting inevitable failure and rejection.
Explore experiential avoidance (3.5 minute video) in your own context by making a written reflection for 15 - 30 minutes, guided by the following questions*:
What are some specific ways that you engage in experiential avoidance or escape unpleasant internal experiences that may otherwise lead you to growth? Can you think of a time when this has kept you from accomplishing goals or from living in accordance with your values?Â
Can you identify a specific instance in your life where you chose to avoid a challenging emotion or situation? What were the consequences of this avoidance, and how might the outcome have been different if you had faced it head-on?
Consider the role of fear in your life decisions. What fears or anxieties drive your tendency to avoid certain experiences or emotions? How might facing these fears open up new opportunities for growth and self-discovery?
Explore the connection between experiential avoidance and your relationships. Are there patterns of avoidance that manifest in your interactions with others? How might addressing these patterns enhance the depth and authenticity of your connections?
*Note that it is always recommended to hand write your reflections. Journaling by hand offers a tangible and tactile connection to your thoughts, providing a sensory experience that can deepen self-reflection. The act of physically writing has been shown to engage different cognitive processes than typing, enhancing the therapeutic and growth-inducing of writing reflections. It also slows you down from the busyness of life to become present in the moment and make the most effective and honest reflection.
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Have a growth inducing weekend,
Jacob